I've been doing many things...

just not posting about any of them. There's been a dirge of computer time, which is okay. I've got pics of crafts & things, but I'm just so horrible about downloading picutres off my camera.

At least I don't have a following who's dissapointed in my lack of posting. Or if I had one, maybe I'd feel responsible to them & post more? Hmmmm...chicken or the egg?

Saving my ears

Twin A & B working hard at crafting. Just the ticket for quieting the screaming happening just a few moments earlier. They are making dolls for the new thrifted doll house I brought home this morning. Twin A said she needed dolls that can sit, so we came up with these with what we had in the house:



You see I was too eager to capture it - the white glue has not dried on my girl's dress.

Crafty Recycling

I use scratch paper for everything. I have since I moved out on my own, maybe even longer. I have had a problem with scratch paper, however. How do I keep it organized, in one place & usuable? It clutters up junk drawers in the kitchen, spills out of cupboards. Stapling doesn't work, b/c your grocery list gets torn it half. I do sometimes make tear off pads, but that takes time, something I've been quite short on in the past 5 years. Last week I got tired of picking up a piece of magnet that was constantly spilled out of the girls' craft bin. I was about to throw it away (what was I thinking?!) when it dawned on me that it was the exact size of the tea box I had just thrown into the recycling. The light bulb ding-ith. Now I've got this handy dandy scratch paper box, with nearby writing implement. I'm thrilled, even if it doesn't last that long, being made of pressboard and all.

Stay tuned for my shopping list organization (it's along the same lines, if you were wondering...).

Gracious Reminder

I'm feeling stressed. Getting the kids off the computer & into the car for the CSA potluck is going to be a struggle, I can tell. Plus, I took a class for someone even though I didn't want to & now I'm feeling grumpy about it. It means I have to get up in the morning, which doesn't at all sound appealing right now, plus putting a scrunch on the afternoon activities, which include 2 parties. So while I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, a little bit of me piped up, "Write a post - you will feel grateful." Phew - thank goodness I listened - I'm feeling better already.

So right now, I am grateful for:

1) An opportunity to make some money so I can buy Rosetta Stone Spanish for my family. (Something I've been planning to do since school let out.)

2) An opportunity to get away from my darling children for awhile.

3) An opportunity to meet with others who support our local farm. (We went to the ground breaking last fall & this is its first summer harvest! So, so happy.)

Thanks for sharing my breather. Enjoy your weekend!

Return of the Gratitudes

I've been noticing that my gracious attitude has been slipping lately. No coincidence that I have not posted any gratitudes for quite some time. The thankful synapses in my brain are getting rusty from disuse. Tonight, I shall give them some exercise.

1) An unexpected sleepover that resulted in Hubby & me alone time, along with a sleep-in and an easy experience in getting out of the house.
2) A day outside with dear friends.
3) Enough breathing room in the budget to afford said day.
4) Having the willpower to not scream or otherwise hurt Twin B when aforementioned events turned her into a crying, screaming, throwing, hitting, kicking little person. In fact, I completely turned around what could've been a very.bad.evening. I am very grateful of this, because too often, it goes the other way.

A long absence

Why? I've been traveling & recouperating. Southwestern Washington, Oregon Coast, 101 through California, home for 4 days, then 3 days in southern California. Fun, but good to be home. I have photos, but have been too lazy to download them. I will, I will.

My dear friend wants me to write a post about dogs. What I don't miss about owning dogs, and what I do. We owned two dogs at once, because we lived on a ranch & had lots of room & our original dog needed a friend. When we moved to a regular suburban home with a pool for a backyard, two dogs was too many. I was overwhelmed with three kids in diapers, & alone for most of every day. So, after much discussion & heartbreak, we decided to rehome our doggies. I do miss them, I do. Especially when watching movies like Bolt (we had a white german shepard), or Homeward Bound (everyone cried). But I can tell you, I do not miss: the barking, the poop, the flies, the up down up down of letting them in and out constantly. I don't miss trying to walk to big dogs while pushing a double stroller with a baby strapped on my back. I don't miss hearing them whine while I tried to do the walking without them. I don't miss their noses in all the grocery bags as I'm trying to get them put away. I do miss their ability to vacuum up under the kitchen table. I miss wet doggie noses. I miss my big soft fur pillow. I miss having someone greet me when I come home. I miss having someone who loves me so much that if I lay on the ground, bury my face in my arms and pretend to cry, they come running over & nudging me with their noses, so so concerned that something is wrong with me. My own children don't even do that. We have the ability to get one of our dogs back when we can, although it's been so long it seems mean to the dog to make her move again.

How 'bout you? Do you love pets? Why or why not?

Rhubarb shortcake? Rhubarb bread?

I was looking though this wonderful book for a bread recipe to make veggie roll up sandwiches: Uprisings, The Whole Grain Bakers' Book Ed. By Michael Arthur, Kathy Gaskin, Lew Kidder and Jean Marvel. I bought it at a thrift store for twenty-five cents. All the recipes are written by hand. Here's a pic:

I came across this recipe for Rice Bread, which is described as being a good substitute for biscuits in shortcake. Hmmmm...I wonder? I had some rhubarb in "sauce" leftover from making a rhubarb pie last week. (Yum! Why have I never tried rhubarb before?!?!) I thought it might be softer from soaking in the sugar mixture for almost a week & that cooking it IN the bread might be enough cooking. It turned out beautiful looking & really good, but not great, tasting. But definitely something I'm going to tweak, because it had a lot of promise.

Here's the bread recipe:
2 1/2 c warm water
1 T yeast

Dissolve yeast in a bowl in the water.

Add & beat well w/ an egg beater or wire whisk:
1 T oil
1/2 t salt
1/2 c sunflower seeds
1/4 c rolled oats
1/4 c soy flour
2 c rice flour
1/2 c millet flour

Pour into well-greased pans and let rise uncovered for 20-30 min. Handle gently at all times or batter will collapse.

Once I got this bread in a pie tin, I added my rhubarb, which was half of this recipe, from the cookbook I grew up using, Betty Crocker's Cookbook.

1 1/2 - 1 2/3 c sugar
1/3 c flour
1/2 t grated orange peel (opt)
4 c chopped rhubarb (1/2 inch slices)
2 T margarine or butter

I was planned on topping the rhubarb with additional batter, but the rhubarb sunk to the bottom.

I baked at 375 for 40 minutes.

I changed out soy flour for garbanzo bean flour, as I had no soy flour & the rhubarb had no orange peel for the same reason.

Here's what I ended up with:


Ignore the dirty stove, if you will.

It would be awesome warm, with tea. I didn't care for the texture of the sunflower seeds, so I will try chopping them a bit on the next try. Also, the rhubarb needs to be chopped finer before going into this bread or pre-cooked on the stove a bit. Some of the pieces were a little...crunchy.

So, I'd say, a successful experiement. I'm looking forward to more time playing in the kitchen, now that I'm not tied to the school schedule. And those girls of mine love to put on their aprons and help their mama!

Gratitudes of the past 10 days...

- no longer having an infant in the house (as much as I love babies, I think I am done caring for them)
- kindergarten graduates!
- no longer having to wake to an alarm
- weddings!
- finding a nice outfit + shoes at the thrift store for me for less than 1 dress I bought the twins. (score!)
- having lots of time to vist friends, be outside & craft
- getting Hubby onboard with the "healthy eating" plan

maybe now I can start actually posting pics occasionally...

I keep trying to be grateful

of my health, so that I will shake this cold! but it's not working!!! (insert image of me jumping up & down like a toddler) 5 days of antibiotics & I STILL have a "full ear" feeling in the ear that had the infection & post nasal drip which makes me cough, which keeps me up, which keeps me from getting the healing sleep I need. What gives?

BUT despite this dip in my immune system, I have other things to be grateful for:
- beautiful weather
- enough energy to rearrange furniture
- outdoor concert with a picnic dinner
- making something for dinner that the girls liked for once

My health

I'm so thankful to be healthy.
I'm so thankful for healing medicines.
I'm so thankful that I am mindful of when I don't need medicines & when I DO.

Today I NEED

to remember what I am grateful for about my children.

- they exist
- their smiles, collectively and individually
- their generosity towards others (except EACH other, but we'll overlook that for now)
- their memories (it's really amazing what they can remember)

Don't worry - I haven't forgotten about you...

Been sick & trying to stay off the computer. Ya know, be with the kids, make stuff, clean stuff. I accomplished a little bit of each of thoset things. No pics yet though. This makes me a completely boring blogger. I realize this. However, since I'm not expecting an audience at all, I'm okay with being a boring blogger. One day I will turn this blog into a showcase for all my delightfully crafty things. But that's not today. or night, as the case may be.

Gratitudes:
- a LOVELY park day
- littlest one cuddling Daddy to sleep (a novel thing!)
- a clean house (is it possible that I only blog after the cleaners have been through? Maybe it's then that I have time to ponder since I'm not desperately trying to keep up after the girls?)
- my health

I am so horrible about gifts...

My husband and I are a horribly matched pair. He likes to buy / give expensive, extravagant gifts. I ask for simple things: a book, a new coffee pot, etc. So what happens? He goes & gets an extravagant gift (a new digital camera this year), & I feel too guilty to use it. It cost 10 times what the gift I *asked* for cost! So since mother's day, I've used my camera once. Then he gets hurt feelings that I'm not using his thoughtful gift. sigh. happens every time.

Gift choosing and giving is so slippery. Even with a spouse. Especially with a spouse. I can never choose the right thing for him either. Probably because when his birthday rolls around, he goes out & buys himself a birthday present.

That's it for deep thoughts today. Here's my good things:
- a baby that sleeps for 3 1/2 hours - yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- a beautiful day in the perfect temperature for the park
- energy at the end of the day to clean the kitchen clean enough that I won't feel like I'm behind the ball come morning.

One day I'll overcome my gift insecurity & bring you a picture from my new toy...

Camera - knitting no go

I taught myself to knit. a little bit. I was so excited that I finally got "purl" that I wanted to run here & shout my glory. but I couldn't find the camera. & really what is showing off knitting without a picture? so I put it off & then I forgot. & well, now that I have a moment where the baby is sleeping, the littles are engrossed & I can see the camera from where I'm sitting...I just realized that my knitting bag is in the car. A simple task really, but I. just. don't. want. to. move. Been there before? I know if I get up, this moment will be lost. I'll realize that the laundry needs to be switched, someone will hit someone else & the baby will wake up, rendering me once again without a moment to photograph my knitting. So you will just have to imagine it. My newbie knitting, with dropped stitches and all, but with all the excitement and possibilities a new craft brings. You'll just have to come back another day for a picture.

Mother's Day, 2009

Man, I've been wanting to post but not making time for it the past couple of days. Sorry.

Today:
- a "doze" by myself, as well as a solo shower
- a visit to the yarn store. I left empty handed, but it was fun to look @ touch!
- a really nice day outside w/ the girls saying things like, "this is the funnest day ever!" & very very little fighting!
- all the beautiful homemade mother's day artwork I could want!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there!

Garden goodness

I didn't even have to wait until the end of the day to post today's goodness! I have zuchinni! WOOT! In less than a week they will be big enough to eat! YEAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Oh, you want proof, do you?

Feeling a little sad...but it isn't bad

Lately I've really been nostalgic for the twins' toddlerhood. I see how I missed so much in the moment. Too busy trying to do it all, that the enjoyment was stifled. I'm so sad that time is gone & I feel like I barely have memories of it all. I'm sure my lack of memory is partially due to sleep deprivation. Nevertheless, I'm desperate to not let it happen now. 5 is still so young. When they are graduating high school, 5 will be little, infancy a fog. So I'm trying to say yes more often & give the finger to the housework. Something I should've been doing for a long time now. Of course, it helps to know that every 2 weeks, the house gets a scrubbing by someone other than me, and that makes it easier to let it go. Today was cupcakes. Someone had been asking to make cupcakes since Friday. We finally had enough minutes in a row to do it. It was frustrating, as usual. (too many cooks in the kitchen) but we DID IT. and they were delicious.

another toughie...

until about 6pm tonight, I probably could've offered any number of "good things" about today. things crashed and burned around here after dinner & man...I'm having a hard time pulling out of it.

I'm doing this though! Good things:

- accomplishing things - big things

- time alone with my little one with nothing pulling me away from her

- the twinnies getting a visit with grandpa...and seeing how ecstatic they were to see me even after such a fun time for them

- a scrambled together dinner that was delicious

Hubby's good thing: coming home

Today is stretching me...

It wasn't a bad day, per se. Just not anything stand out "Good." But that's why I'm here, right? To find the "good" in the "blah"? (quiet...can you hear the squeak of my brain?)

- whatever coconut creamer Hubby put in my coffee

- a significant breakthrough with Oldest

- an evening with no one to "answer" to. (it's funny how I'm supposed to get a night out, too, but it rarely happens. I think that's because I like to have nights in. which his night out is turning into for me. I guess that's a win / win. :) )

Yesterday's good things

1. a clean house

2. Oldest's relative happiness (there's been little of it lately).

3. cuddling in bed with the 3 littles at the end of the day.

Backslide - kinda

So...I'm a little sad today. I've got a ton of craft projects on the burners so I tried making myself a list last night. Ya know, things that were "due" already (like my niece's Christmas present), and then things that will be due, like Mother's Day presents, & then things I just want to do...It ended up being 14 items long! & then I woke up this morning thinking of the pattern I bought on Saturday didn't make it on my "crafty to-do" list. On one hand, how great that I have so many interests / creative energies. On the other...I got one serious case of the "I'll never get it done...never!" (Imagine here, if you will, the piano player from Sesame Street banging his head against the keyboard.)

Do you ever catch up? Is it even possible or am I chasing my proverbial tail? I'm about ready to take this philosophy, courtesy of Urban Threads. Here's the thing: these are not Gotta Dos. These are Want To Dos. Unfulfilled desires...unfinished dreams...

What do you do when "someday" seems too far away?

Weekend Update

only the good things, hmmmm? Yes, I did say that was the point of this place, didn't I? okay then...good things:

- a decision about our house. not an easy decision, not a fun one, but a direction to go in, instead of living in limbo about it.

- GOOD thrift store experiences. I somehow managed to go thrifting Friday, Saturday, & Sunday! Wow! & I really found some neat things each time. My favorite: a vintage Fisher Price chalkboard / magnetic letter spelling desk. Remember this thing? Magnets included - letters & numbers for the whopping price of $3.99! Woot! Note to self: don't go to Goodwill anymore. Everything's overpriced since they became Target's dumping ground. :(

- parents over for dinner. I love getting them out of their house & my dad called yesterday saying that he hadn't seen his girls in a while. It was a win / win. :)

Craftiness & Garden Goodness

The craft I set up last week? Here we are doing it:


Here's the finished product:


I combined a few tutorials out there for making planters out of 2 liter bottles. Using my fabric scraps was fun, but I'm not so sure they will hold up to the weather. Next time I'll splurge for some acrylic paints, as I'm not giving the girls access to spray paints!

My garden is growing! I started a small container garden this spring. I don't know if we will be moving or not & I can't dig up any of the landscaping in my rented digs, so I tried container gardening. I wasn't positive it would work, so I spent as little as I could manage on the venture. Recycled containers, some from the $ Tree store & only 1 bag of soil purchased, the rest scored on craigslist's free section. Still, I didn't know if my labors would pay off - container gardens don't get weeds, but they don't get the option of getting a lot of minerals from the soil either. But here is proof of my potential success:

I told you I'm bad at this.

Um...not so good at coming here everyday, am I? Well, don't you worry, when I haven't posted my "good things" here, I am writing in my journal. Which I make Hubby contribute to, too. He needs a good dose of happiness finding himself. :)

1) a cooler day & night! Past two nights were too hot to sleep, but tonight...ahhhh!

2) Not "working" tomorrow.

3) 2 parks followed by dinner out. Kids were asleep in 3 minutes. THAT's a good thing.

Time to catch up...

The weekend was full of wonderful things. However, the last part of today was so rough, that it near canceled out all the wonderfulness of the weekend. It was that bad - I am not exaggerating. BUT I shall list for you the goodness & hopefully remembering it will put me in a better place.

1) Unexpected sleepover at Grandpa & Grandma's. Not me, the girls. All of them. As in an unexpected night off of bedtime drama & date with the hubby! YeHA! That is a good, good thing.

2) A "date" with my best girl friend. We went to see Wicked & it was well worth the blisters I sustained while looking for someplace for lunch, wearing my "wicked" high heels.

3) Getting my oldest back. She was on spring break, away from home & she came home last night. She was blase about returning, as most 13 year olds will be, but *I* was happy to have her back.

There was a LOT of screaming today...

not mine, fortunately. Nevertheless, I managed to find a few "good things" about today.

1. A clean house! (the cleaners came today. This is something I've wanted since the twins were little & we've only been able to afford for the past 8 months or so. & I'll probably have to give it up to get the littlest into preschool, but until that time, I'm enjoying it!) A little note: it takes one person about 8 hours to clean my house. I start in the morning, picking everything up, so the cleaners can actually clean. Laundry, toys, dishes, etc. That takes me about 4-5 hours top to bottom. Granted, I am stopping to care for kiddos, but I have to do that too, so I count it. Then the cleaners come & recently, there's only been 1 person & it takes her 4-5 hours to do the cleaning part. So I could literally spend a FULL day cleaning my house. I can not believe it, no matter how many times I see it.

2. Seeing Twin B get her hearts desire. She got a gift card to Build-A-Bear, something she's been saving her $1 per week allowance for. It was so much fun to watch her spend it. Also, it was great to see how Twin A was excited for her sister, as well as not whining that she wanted one too. (She asked for and received a Build-A-Bear gift card for Christmas.)

3. Having enough energy at the end of the day to prep a craft project for the girls. We will be decorating & hopefully planting hanging self-watering planters made from 2 liter soda bottles. I'll take pics, for sure!

Good Things About Today

1. Giving children gifts they have been coveting. (In lieu of baskets, we just got a present for each girl, something their hearts have been hankering for & in one case one has been saving allowance for.)
2. Church for the first time in 2 weeks. (we go to a local UU church)
3. Crafting
4. Out of doors at Grandpa's house with the cousins.
5. Niece "stealing" my embroidery.

Good Things About Today

1. Oldest getting her cast off. Hurray!
2. Twins helping / sharing with Ivy of their Egg Hunt booty from school.
3. An awesome chiro visit. Ahhhhh...

Hmmmmm...

I'm not so good at this, am I? Ten months without a new post? I definitely need Web Log Writer Lessons. Do they have classes at the local community college? These past 10 (11?) months have been quite dizzying, if that's any excuse.

I have been changing my lazy, internetting ways, mostly strictly controling how much I'm on while my children are awake. But also, I'm only visiting places that please me. I was in a habit of going someplace daily where I'd hung out for 3 (!) years, but was no longer making me happy. Each time I left this place, I felt worse than when I got there. & that just had to stop. But, as any smoker knows, habits are hard to break. So I took a page out of the "replace the behavior with another behavior" book. For awhile this was doing crafty things, but energy after 9 pm for starting or picking up a sewing project seriously wanes after awhile & I soon found myself back at the computer after kiddy bedtime. Somehow, I found myself on Soulemama's blog. I think it might have been this post about a homemade skating pond. or maybe some of her drool-worthy embroidery. Anyhow, I fell in LOVE. I am in love with Soulemama. and her children. but mostly her. I was thinking last night as I was tidying up that I want to crawl into her skin & be her for awhile. & then I thought, "Ewwwww....STALKER!" But I do. I want to learn to push aside all the ugliness, the screaming, the "not going right" of the day (of every day) & focus on the good, the beauty, the peace.

So all that leads me to my new purpose here. To be a copycat. (cough cough) Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, is it not? But also, when you've been in the bad habit of concentrating on the bad, you need a lot of "new behaviors" to pull out of it. & also, a step by step plan. Winging it only gets you back in the dumps. So, Amanda Blake Soule, you are my 12 step program!